Jan 10, 1813
Darcy shows Lizzy the book
LIZZY
Darling, can I ask you a silly question?
DARCY
Certainly, my dear. The sillier the better.
LIZZY
Last night, before we fell asleep...
DARCY
Yes?
LIZZY
Do you remember?
DARCY
What do you mean?
LIZZY
Just before we finished. I mean the last thing we did before falling asleep.
DARCY
Um, well, yes, I do remember. Were you satisfied with my conduct last night?
LIZZY
My god, Fitzwilliam! I most certainly was!
DARCY
Oh, Lizzy, I love you so much.
LIZZY
But I have to ask you something.
DARCY
Yes?
LIZZY
How could you possibly have known that I would... um, react in that manner?
DARCY
Well, my dear, can't we just ascribe it to my consummate manliness?
LIZZY
Oh, come now, Fitzwilliam. Are men just born knowing things like that?
DARCY
Well, pleasing a woman is instinctual to a man, my dear.
LIZZY
Oh, please, Fitzwilliam, tell me the truth. Is this something that boys learn from their fathers?
DARCY
Actually, I have a confession to make.
LIZZY
You do? Do you have something else planned for tonight?
DARCY
No, no. Listen. Knowledge of these things is not very well known, at least in England it isn't. I only discovered these things because I found a... well, a book. A special book.
LIZZY
A book? So when Charlotte and I were reading our pirate novels, what were you reading?
DARCY
No, no. This is a book from the orient, translated by a professor of Eastern Studies at Oxford. The Chinese have gathered this knowledge for centuries and have recorded it most thoroughly.
LIZZY
Oh, my! I want to see it.
DARCY
Well... you might find it shocking.
LIZZY
Oh, I hope so. Please, Fitzwilliam.
DARCY
Well, all right. But remember, I acquired this book only with the intention of pleasing you, my dear.
LIZZY
I know, dearest. You've been so wonderful to me.
DARCY
...Okay, here it is.
LIZZY
Wait. You've written the date here. The date you purchased it.
DARCY
Oh.
LIZZY
You bought it before you came to Hertfordshire. Before you even met me. You devil.
DARCY
Oh, well, but I knew I would meet someone like you some day, Lizzy. At least I hoped I would.
LIZZY
Has Charles Bingley seen this book?
DARCY
Yes, he's read the entire thing. Several times probably. I only got a chance to glance through it on the night before our wedding.
LIZZY
What? Do you mean to say that this is that book of accounts?
DARCY
It is indeed.
LIZZY
And you rode all the way to London to get it?
DARCY
I wanted to be ready for our wedding night, my dear.
LIZZY
My word. ...Look at page twenty-six. It reminds me of last week.
DARCY
Turn to page seventeen.
LIZZY
Oh my god! Is this what you have planned for tonight?
DARCY
Well, I'm not sure I'm capable of that one yet, Lizzy.
LIZZY
How is it even possible?
DARCY
It still puzzles me a bit.
LIZZY
Now I understand something that Jane said the next morning.
DARCY
Good grief. You mean that Bingley actually...
LIZZY
Perhaps you could ask Charles about it.
DARCY
Um, I don't think so, my dear.
LIZZY
We have to hide this book. What if Georgiana sees it?
DARCY
Well, I do keep it quite well hidden in that spot over there.
LIZZY
But I've seen her poking around that very spot several times.
DARCY
What?
LIZZY
Oh, I have to write to Jane at once.
Next dialogue: A lazy Saturday morning in bed with Mr. and Mrs. Darcy
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