DARCY
Good evening, Mrs. Bennet... Mr. Bennet... Miss Ben--
MRS. BENNET
Hello, Mr. Darcy. Where is Mr. Bingley, pray?
DARCY
Oh, he's just attending to some --
MRS. BENNET
Oh, there he is. Jane, come this way. Quickly.
DARCY
Miss Elizabeth. How are you this evening?
ELIZABETH
Quite well, thank you.
DARCY
You didn't find the evening air too chilly, I trust.
ELIZABETH
No, not at all.
DARCY
You don't think it'll rain later this evening, do you?
ELIZABETH
Well, I really couldn't say, sir.
DARCY
How does Netherfield look? Somewhat different than it did a fortnight
ago, does it not?
ELIZABETH
Sir, I'm holding up the line. I really should be moving along.
DARCY
Oh, of course. Good evening then.
MISS KING
Why, Mr. Darcy! How are you this evening?
Can I get you a cigar?
DARCY
Hurst, why weren't you in the receiving line with me?
You would've enjoyed the view that Miss King offered.
HURST
Yes, I can see that her dress fits much more effectively than it did
last time.
DARCY
It does indeed.
HURST
Remember, Darcy, after you ask her to dance, give me a hand signal.
LOUISA
Fitzwilliam, Miss Elizabeth is asking about George Wickham.
DARCY
Oh, dear me.
LOUISA
No, no, that's good news. For you at least.
DARCY
It is?
LOUISA
Yes. He's probably already spread his usual lies about you.
You won't have to worry about chasing her away.
DARCY
Well, perhaps I should --
LOUISA
She probably despises you already. You're off the hook.
MISS BINGLEY
Mr. Darcy. Stand in front of me. Quickly.
DARCY
What?
MISS BINGLEY
I need you to shield me from that Freddy Fish-seller.
DARCY
Oh, just a moment. I think I hear your brother calling me.
MISS BINGLEY
No, no. Come back!
DARCY
Miss Elizabeth, would you honour me with the next dance?
ELIZABETH
Well, sir, I'm actually engaged for the next several dances with my
cousin Collins.
DARCY
Oh.
ELIZABETH
Have you met him?
DARCY
No, I haven't had the pleasure.
ELIZABETH
Perhaps when he and I are done dancing, I'll introduce him to you.
I'm sure he has a lot he'd like to discuss with you.
DARCY
Well --
ELIZABETH
He's quite a fascinating conversationalist.
DARCY
Well, I'm getting somewhat restless. I was hoping to stretch my legs out
on the floor a little bit. I could arrange a reel if you wish.
ELIZABETH
Oh, well, if you're feeling fidgety then let me call Miss King
over. I know for a fact that she loves reels.
DARCY
No, that won't be nec--
MISS KING
Why Mr. Darcy! Isn't it odd how we keep meeting?
DARCY
Um...
MISS KING
Can I light a cigar for you?
BINGLEY
Darcy, why haven't I seen you dancing yet?
DARCY
Soon.
BINGLEY
Why don't you dance with Miss King?
She's been making a nuisance of herself all night.
DARCY
Get Hurst to dance with her.
BINGLEY
Oh. Miss Jane is back. Bye.
MISS BINGLEY
Mr. Darcy, that fishman has been chasing me around all
evening.
DARCY
My word.
MISS BINGLEY
He managed to accost me a few minutes ago.
I was in need of your help.
DARCY
Oh, dear.
MISS BINGLEY
Didn't you see me signalling with my hand?
DARCY
Miss Elizabeth. The next dance?
ELIZABETH
Oh, oh, certainly. Oh, wait. Um, um...
DARCY
It's a reel. Good evening, then.
ELIZABETH
But, but...
MR. COLLINS
Mr. Darcy, allow me to apologize for accosting you in such an abrupt
manner, but my cousin Miss Elizabeth insisted that I should take
pains to present myself to your acquaintance. I humbly beseech your
patience and solicitude, sir, and ask that you grant me permission
to express the great honour I feel in at long last making the
acquaintance of the illustrious nephew of my great patroness, Lady
--
DARCY
Sir --
MR. COLLINS
Oh, beg pardon, Mr. Darcy.
Almost as soon as I arrived in Hertfordshire, I singled you out
as the one person to whom I must make my presence known, having
been so recently in the company of your own Aunt, the Lady --
DARCY
Sir --
MR. COLLINS
You will be pleased to know, sir, that not only is your Aunt
enjoying the best of health, but also that your own beloved cousin,
Miss Anne de Bourgh, was, when I last saw her, in --
DARCY
I'm sorry, sir, but I've promised this dance to Miss King.
Good evening.
(later)
LOUISA
Fitzwilliam, why were you dancing with Miss Elizabeth?
You should've continued dancing with Miss King.
DARCY
Well, she seemed in need of a partner, and --
LOUISA
Nonsense.
Why haven't you danced with Caroline yet?
DARCY
Your brother insists that I have to act the host tonight.
Spread myself around.
LOUISA
Oh, look. There's Caroline over there, waving at you.
BINGLEY
So, Darcy. I see you finally got a chance to dance with Miss
Elizabeth. Took you long enough.
DARCY
Bingley, you shouldn't be dancing with Miss Bennet so often.
There are other ladies here, you know.
BINGLEY
Oh, Darcy, I'm in heaven. I wish this evening would never end.
DARCY
Miss King hasn't danced with you yet.
BINGLEY
Miss Bennet is an angel. A goddess...
DARCY
Bingley, you're the host.
You have to spread yourself around a bit. Go over and ask Miss
King. And then the Johnston twins. They're looking quite anxious.
DARCY
Oh, Miss Bingley. What's that dreadful odour?
MISS BINGLEY
How did that tradesman get invited to our ball?
DARCY
He's quite the dancer, isn't he?
MISS BINGLEY
I think he was raised by a pack of elephants.
DARCY
I believe a jig is coming up. Shall we?
MISS BINGLEY
Very well. But I'll just barely have time to change my dress.
HURST
Darcy, what's gotten into you?
DARCY
What do you mean?
HURST
You danced with Miss King! I was trying to make my way over
to you, but you went ahead and actually danced with her.
DARCY
Well, the circumstance was rather extreme.
HURST
Well, go ask her again. Then give me the signal.
DARCY
Try walking in front of her with an unlit cigar in your mouth.